A wedding can be one of the most celebrated moments in a woman’s life, but it can also create needless tension and stress – especially between mothers and daughters. Now more than ever, communication will be a key in a smooth planning process.
It doesn’t take long after an engagement for brides-to-be to begin to scour magazines and wedding websites for ideas and trends on the latest decor and fashions. Their mind is often times darting from one idea to another, not sure which most accurately reflects their own style. Mothers, on the other hand, are thinking of budgets, guest lists and the long to-do list ahead of them. Maybe they are recalling their own wedding and wishing they had done things a little differently. This is the perfect opportunity for mothers and daughters to take some time to share memories and dreams with each other.
Before you talk about the budget, it’s important for everyone to express what’s on their mind and what the dream wedding looks like. Moms, try not to discourage ideas at this point – times have changed and if you were married twenty-five years ago, weddings look very different today! Fashion trends have given the thumbs up on colored wedding dresses, museums have become popular venues for holding receptions and the traditions of the past have been replaced with the uniqueness of the couple (if you don’t want wedding cake, try a crepe station instead!). Brides are wise to remember that their mothers usually want to play a vital role, so try not to keep your dreams a secret.
Once you’ve had a chance to ooh and aah over the multitude of ideas, then sit down for a gentle conversation about how much everyone can contribute to the cost of the wedding. Although tradition has the brides parents picking up the majority of the tab, common sense now prevails with everyone agreeing “what can we afford”. Your guest count will be one of the major factors in your overall spending, so if you would like to upscale your wedding, you might consider downsizing your guest count. Make a list of what is most important to the bride and groom – that will help you decide where to spend your money. For instance, you might choose to have a DJ instead of a live band in order to have the beef wellington on menu – it’s all about what YOUR dream wedding looks like.
As you continue through the planning process, the best advice is to do everything as much ahead of time as possible. Running out on the morning of the wedding to get the programs printed is not a good idea! Use some of the planning books available as a resource for staying on top of your to-do list and enlist the help of family and friends who can take on some of the tasks involved. In the end, what is most important is that the mother-daughter relationship has grown deeper and the ultimate celebration is about a marriage, not a wedding.
Patricia Fleming is the former owner of Festivities, an award winning event rental and design company located in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She is married to her wonderful husband, Steve of twenty-five years and is mother of two children – Sarah and Matt. You can follow Patty’s wedding blog at http://www.desiredjourney.blogspot.com for extensive tips on planning the perfect wedding with your daughter.
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- August 25, 2009 at 7:06 pm
The Wedding Times » Wedding Planning For Mothers and Daughters[...] By Patty Fleming A wedding can be one of the most celebrated moments in a woman’s life, but it can also create needless tension and stress – especially between mothers and daughters. Now more than ever, communication will be a key in a smooth planning process. It doesn’t take long after an engagement for brides-to-be to begin to scour magazines and wedding websites for ideas and trends on the latest decor and fashions. Their mind is often times darting from one idea to another, not sure wh Source: http://www.forawedding.net/blog/wedding-planning/wedding-planning-for-mothers-and-daughters/ [...]