Whenever someone is asked to be a matron of honor, it is a time of both shock and pride. You must be prepared to invest both your time and your money. How much will depend on how much help you get from to two parties’ friends and relatives but you are still going to have to do the lion’s share. Many people think that the matron / maid of honor only has input on the day of the wedding (as this is only when they see you in action). In reality, your job starts just after the couple have decided to marry. You have your MAID OF HONOR obligations earlier than the wedding ceremony day.
There are many pre-wedding ceremony obligations a Maid of Honor is expected to perform. The maid of honor’s duties start almost as soon as the bride says “I do”. You must expect to be needed constantly in the run up to the wedding. In addition, you are expected to perform some obligations all on your own. As maid of honor, just what are you expected to do?
You will be helping the bride with a lot of important decisions. Choosing the location of the ceremony and the reception, picking wedding ceremony invitations, deciding on the bride’s gown and bridal party attire, tasting wedding ceremony cakes, choosing the foods, flowers and decor – all of these selections must be made early on when planning the wedding ceremony. It is a lot of fun, but can also be very stressful. As I said above, it’s an emotional roller coaster for the bride and some of her choices may be governed by this. It is up to you to take a step back and look at her thoughts objectively. Don’t be scared to disagree. You have to take a detached view. Remember, long after the wedding, she will be detached enough to ask you “why didn’t you really say what you thought?”
After selections are made, the Maid of Honor starts to take on her organizational obligations. This means checking on everyone else who has some part to play in the wedding. One of the most important duties is to double check that all of the guests remember when and where the wedding is taking place. At the same time do a head count to check who is coming and who cannot make it. You need tact and experience on the next bit. Who sits where and by whom. You need to blend groups of people together whilst separating those who do not get on (remember, alcohol will be freely available).
Apart from the maid of honor speech, there are a couple of things that are certainly your exclusive domain. These are the bachelorette party and the bridal shower. At both party, be sure to keep track of the presents received so the bride can send thank you notes later. Your Maid of Honor tasks will probably leave you exhausted but you should feel an immense amount of satisfaction from being (solely?) responsible for the wedding being such a success. Just remember though, you are only really half way through..
When the wedding ceremony day arrives, all of the work from Maid of Honor obligations to date come together, and you can pat yourself on the back for the important role you played in producing such a beautiful wedding ceremony. But your work as Maid or Matron of Honor isn’t over! You play an extremely large role on the big day, assisting the bride and overseeing that the ceremony and reception flow smoothly until the last guest leaves that evening.
It’s a good thing to remember that although everyone expects you to be superwoman, you are likely to be just as stressed as anyone. The trouble is that you cannot afford to let this get to you. I find the best thing to do is make out a checklist and keep referring back to it. Whilst everything is going mad, don’t forget to keep tabs on the bride. A quick dress dress, make up veil check is required every so often.
So, what sort of things do you need to do on the day itself? Well, you’ve got…
Look after the bride’s bouquet and make sure her train is OK (and no one treads on it).
Hold onto the ring your bride is to exchange with the groom.
Take control of the tossing of the bouquet.
Organize the cutting of the cake.
Organize any special dances at the ceremony.
Make sure no one touches the money or presents on the gift table.
Line up the friends and relatives for the photographs.
(when that is all done) pull off the best maid of honor speeches ever.
When you have covered everything, you will be able to let your hair down and enjoy yourself (assuming that you have some energy left after doing those things).