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Your best friend is getting married and you have been asked to be the best man. Maybe you’ve been to a couple weddings before, but you had hit the bar a little too early and pretty much missed whatever the Best Man said. Now here you are, slumped over some index cards or your computer, trying to formulate the golden Best Man speech. What are you supposed to say anyway? Is it supposed to be funny? Sad? Appropriate? A little advice can go a long way when creating a best mans speeches, or really any speech in general. Although your speech is important, it doesn’t need to be traumatic at all. In fact, it should be fun! You get to be in the limelight for a little, and who knows, maybe get the attention of that cute bridesmaid.

Before you even start your speech, get comfortable and relaxed. Writing a speech while you’re relaxed will help you write relaxed, and in turn, speak more relaxed. The best speech will come from an open, relaxed mind, so make sure you’re in a comfortable mind set. Next, forget structures and organization. Your speech should be conversational and natural, not sounding like an essay on bacteria. You don’t need to include body paragraphs or a thesis sentence in your introduction. Make sure what you say is genuine and that it actually applies to the Groom. Try to avoid distractions, sometimes the best speeches just come from a train of thought. Spend a little bit reflecting on your relationship with the Groom, and maybe jot down some key points you’d like to touch on. A creative, memorable, heart-warming speech is possible, and with a little help, you can write one.

As for the content of your speech, there are a few pretty traditional elements that should be included: the introduction, a lighthearted memory of the Groom, and a sincere toast to the couple. Start off by introducing yourself. Not everyone will know you, and you want to establish your relationship with the groom to avoid any confusion. Your relationship with the groom is a very important topic to touch on, because it ultimately influences the subject matter of your speech. For instance, a friend of the Groom will not have the same message or the same tone as the father of the Groom.

If you want to have a note card with you, that’s fine. However, you should only right key words on it. You don’t want to be reading off your cards like a script. Reading directly from your hands can’t give you the natural kind of speech you want. Practice all you can without a paper aid, that way you can keep it with you as a crutch or in case you blank. Glancing down for a quick reminder is perfectly okay. With enough practice, you will have memorized all the key points you want to hit on. Do you best not memorize it verbatim, however. Try to say it a little different every time. You definitely don’t want to sound rehearsed. Know your speech well, but make it new and exciting for the audience.

Even the people who speak as a profession still get nervous when confronted with the best mans speeches. All the people in the audience are rooting for you, and they will love every word. The most you can do for the best man speechs is to practice and just relax. So take a deep breath and just go for it.

There are some pretty standard elements that you can follow if you at a loss as to what to include in your best mans speech. Within the speech is usually an introduction, a good memory or story about the Groom, and finally, the conclusion toast. Start your speech with an introduction. This lets everyone know first who you are and exactly how you’re related to the Groom, setting up the tone for the entire speech.

After your introduction, a variety of options are available to you. You want to create an atmosphere, a mood that sets the stage for the rest of your speech. There are different ways you can do this. Comment on how lovely the Bride looks, or start off with a funny joke or story. Make sure your jokes and stories are appropriate – there are young children and grandparents in the audience. Recall a past memory you and the Groom have experienced together, starting with how you guys first met.

It’s alright to tease the Groom a little bit, just don’t get to the pointing where he is mentally begging you to not share those terrible drunken stories with his grandmother in the audience. Talk about how you and the Groom first met or the time you carried him home when he fell out of a tree and broke his arm. Picking a lighthearted memory allows you to be genuine without even having to try, and this is what you’re aiming for.

Mention how lovely the bride looks and mention how she and the Groom met. Talk about how your friend looked and acted when he was around her. Tell how the relationship grew, resulting in them sitting next to you on the Wedding Day. Whatever you decide to talk about, be genuine and creative. Good memories are easy to talk about naturally, and the audience will naturally pick up on your enthusiasm.

The toast is the grand finale. It doesn’t need to be long or super dramatic. Give your best wishes to the bride and groom and extend to them the hope that they live a long and happy life together. The end of your speech needs to be heart-felt and meaningful, more so than the rest of your speech. Avoid jokes or sarcasm; this is where you give the Bride and Groom their sendoff. You can insert a little friendly advice or a maxim to conclude if you like, and then prompt everyone to raise their glasses and drink for the couple. Now you’re done. Accept your applause and bask in a job well done.

If you are still at a loss about what to put in your best man wedding speeches, there are many online references. You’ve probably never have been a Best Man before, so it’s more than okay to look up a few pointers on how to get started. Search around for further advice or for something to reference for certain parts of your best man speech. Download some sample speeches or an e-book and see what other people suggest. Be careful about basing your speech heavily on a sample one, you don’t want to sounds insincere or unnatural. It’s really more about making the effort as opposed to having the equivalent of the President’s Inaugural Address.

The Bachelor party is a pretty traditional part of weddings, like the best mans speech. All a bachelor party is, is to celebrate the Groom’s last night as a single man. This can take on a variety of meanings. Make sure you know exactly what the Groom expects, and that you respect his wishes. The bachelor party is supposed to be a fun thing for the Groom and his buddies, and if your friend is the kind of guy that doesn’t appreciate strip clubs and ridiculous amounts of alcohol, chances are he won’t appreciate them at his bachelor party.

There are no set rules or traditions to adhere by when planning the activities for a bachelor party. Some guys prefer to get a myriad of strippers and drink insane amounts of alcohol, while others just want to go out with their buddies and watch football at the sports bar. Knowing what the groom expects and is alright with will help avoid any awkward results. If your Groom is a laid back kind of guy, you don’t want to hire squad of strippers.

You want to make sure you spend some time planning if you want to throw the Groom an awesome party. Select a good date; a weekend is probably your best bet. Find a good place to hold it, whether it’s a VIP room in a restaurant or you’re renting out a whole club. Make a guest list, and be sure to communicate with these people enough time in advance so they can come. Take into consideration what kind of menu you’re going to have. If you need to get catering or a bartender, make sure you book it enough time in advance. If people are going to be drinking, you might want to think about hiring a limo or some friends to take them back to their houses. You do not want them to be out driving drunk.

It’s getting more common to have a party that includes both the Bride and the Groom. If your Groom prefers to share the party with their Bride-to-be, don’t be offended. Bachelor parties can be pretty touchy subjects with brides, especially if you or your friends are reputed partiers. It can still be a great night out for the Groom, you, and his friends to celebrate his impending wedding.

It’s nearing the Big Day and you are on the home stretch. Get plenty of rest, because wedding days are long days, and you don’t want to be phasing out during the party.  Even though I know you won’t cry, pick up some tissues before the wedding. I’m sure someone will need them. Your part in the wedding is very special, and you want to be able to perform to the best of your abilities. The Groom chose you to help carry him through this very special day, so be proud of that.

Remember to be genuine when you’re performing your best man wedding speeches. This speech is the opportunity to show the Groom how much you value his friendship and that you wish him a long, beautiful life with his new Bride. Get up there and be natural and, who knows, maybe have a little fun. Your main priority is just to share with the audience the relationship you hold with the Groom, as well as speaking for the audience when you toast the couple and wish them well. Even if you mess up a little, the audience will appreciate all the effort you’ve put into writing your best man wedding speech. People stumble on speeches all the time, and there are people who are even more terrified of public speaking than you are. You’ve practiced and you’re ready, so go give an awesome speech.